I had to translate an interesting and funny piece by a Romanian writer. This isn’t the best translation possible (that will only be my professor’s, Mr Horezeanu), but it’s what I managed to do in a limited time frame. Any suggestions are welcome.
On motorcars
By George Topârceanu
Out of all the devilish contraptions that have found a shelter in our country, the most dangerous of all must surely be the motorcar. When a motorcar speeds by on the street, instead of relying solely on chance and the Heavens, everyone should take refuge in houses, in cellars or on rooftops.
But this is how people are: after getting used to a peril, they do not find it as fearsome. So it happens that, when a motorcar drives by them, each believes he might have the luck not to be the one knocked down by it… in other words, everyone hopes that, perhaps, another one will be knocked down this time.
The motorcar is a very hurried vehicle. He always acts like he’s on the verge of missing the train. (…) Look at him when he rolls down the street, with eyes coming out of his sockets, fixed forward with mechanical ferocity, passing through two rows of pedestrians thronged on the sidewalk, hypnotized, terrorized, always ready to jump aside to make space for him. If any of these unfortunates tries to cross the street, the motorcar immediately blurts out a short, hoarse command, belched as an imprecation:
–Hrrr!
In his dialect, this means:
–Back out! Let Me pass first!
And if you do not instantly get out of his way, he immediately gets into a huff:
–Hrr ‐ hr!
(Which means: Move away, you, idiot, or else I’ll make mincemeat out of you!
Further more: even without moving a muscle, only having the intention of crossing the street to buy something from the pharmacy on the opposite side, the motorcar with his miraculous telepathic recording ability guesses your thought from afar and curtly makes you stand stock-still:
–Hr!
This means:
–Shoo! I will not let you buy a thing!
